Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
