was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
