You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
