whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
