"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this boner is exhausting
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
