Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
