Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
