So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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