I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
