is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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