One girl and one boy is just not enough.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize