I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize