I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
