Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
