I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize