drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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