ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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