I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There are leaves in my underwear?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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