guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have aggressive nipples.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
