3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
