I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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