Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
