So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
