Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
