Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
