I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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