I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
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it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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