Who did Billy Mays play for?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
