I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
