Already got asked if we're dating
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
