I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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