I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
