i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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