Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
