ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
