wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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