I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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