you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
