I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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