Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
