Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
