The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
