Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
