I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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