I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize