i already hear my dad disowning me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
