i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
