You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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