she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
