i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize