I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
