this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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