Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Randomize
