Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
