If i come over, it means nothing
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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