Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
