Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
