this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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