To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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